not so famous yet.: June 2016

Hi. If you actually have this little fire logo on your phone, I suppose you need someone to put out your fire down there. *smirk*

For those who don't know, Tinder is actually a dating app. However, I was told that it was vastly used to find fuck buddies around you. Well, sex indeed is still a taboo deeply rooted among Asian community. If you are talking about it, you are being judge as an inappropriate person. And fuck buddies might be a mantra for most western people, but it's still very very odd that people would talk about it openly here.

I am very reserved. Especially come to this kind of dating app. I found it full of bullocks if you tell me you are looking for someone serious from a bunch of people who are just looking for easy fucks. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Also, I found myself very much exposed and vulnerable putting myself out there, allowing all random walks of life people swiping me.

It's "like look at me, I am out for display!"

I can't help being skeptical when I first downloaded the app 2 years ago because my friend told me she is dating someone from Tinder. "What if he rapes you" is the only question I wanted to ask. But I choked on my words whilst listening to how perfect this relationship brought her joy. And I deleted the app after.

Days ago, Darren mentioned about me on Tinder.
I was terrified. I was still out there being swiped by dodgy people!

NUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I re-downloaded it to figure out the app on how to delete the account.
But it's funny I got hooked. -_____________-
I found it rather amusing and at the same time fun swiping people to the left (left means nope).

And I get little clumsy at first I accidentally "super like" some guys that I intend to swipe left. And the awkward moment when Tinder tell me "It's a match". It's so stupid when this guy actually texted me too.

In Tinder for days, I found that there are a few types of people.

There are people that are really up front.

They are looking for SEX. SEX. SEX.

Nobody's gonna know....

Also there are some are "doing the branding and marketing right" guy.
Although, putting a hot body picture next to a pool isn't enough to justify his sleek "marketing strategy".
His profile is a proof of neat job done. Fitness consultant. EXTREMELY HORNY and physically active! Also, contact him for great prices for branded stuff.

Point 1: He wont buy you branded if you sleep with him. You got great prices tho.
Point 2: Physically active, exclamation mark. Means he can do you again and again. Very horny.
How smart is this guy?
His target audience is obviously horny women that enjoy this body.

Or there are people like "little Shakespeare".
Man, where did you copy that from? Summary of a chick flick.
"Take you to my cave". I need a good laugh on that.

I really enjoy swiping people left and right. It's almost like a HR job looking at resumes from all walks of dodgy people. I can't help being skeptical okay!!!! Like this guy, he asked me if I play instrument. Does he just drop me a sign if I could blow his instrument?

Also, there might be girls out there looking for girls for a little frisky snapchats.

She literally unmatched me, so I can't SS our conversation.

Last but not least, we have people that look very hopeful to life like this one.
I don't know but can't help thinking if the background music for this guy is "When you believe".

Anyway, if you are out there on Tinder, please be really careful.

It can be really dangerous or fun. Just always remember to take good care of yourself!

Unless you are looking for something fun, this is really not a good place to look from.

Anyway, I had my 3 days of fun. I've deleted the app and it's been a good source of laughter for me. JUDGE ME ALL YOU CAN I DON'T CARE!!!!!!

Signing out,

Nobody will knows.... haha

I must have not told a lot of people. Well, unless you asked, or else I don't usually reveal.

I am an open book after all, but not until you start flipping it.

My parents weren't people that I thought I would be proud of. Especially in the early days, when I am in the much younger, teenage dream years. Being rebellious, I even detested them. That's how come I don't really talk about them that much.

I didn't come from a very wealthy background, so I blamed them a lot for hardships in life. I'm not really proud of doing this, but this is what I did when I was little.

But one thing I must say, they love me a lot.

So much when I think about it now, it gave me goosebumps. That kind of love that every Asian parents would give their kids, they do it cause they want the best for their kids, in their Asian parents way.

When I was 15, my family faced our biggest struggle in life. Long story short, we are poor and by poor here means the money we have can only pay for our food. We couldn't afford the slightest extravagance or waste. And sometimes, we had porridge for dinner.

But if you were a friend of mine since then, you would have known these troubles never existed. Because my dad still pays me pocket money and I worked part time. Being independent doesn't makes me cute, especially for my dad. My dad once says this to me, and I remembered it till now.

"Why would you want to work? This is the time where you focus on your studies. You like to work, you have a lifetime for you to work after this."

I never understood back then.

How I wish I wasn't that shallow.

Years after, our family financials still teetering on the edge, so I started working in a sales dept and I wasn't happy even tho my sales results was good. I wasn't happy because I feel like I don't belong there. I was thinking about going back to study but we don't have the money. So, I went to take my STPM.

My dad told me.

"Don't worry about the money. We will figure it out."

After years in university, I wasn't really the one short with cash. Friends always thought I am "rich" and being really generous on spending. But the fact is, they didn't know what I faced before. Also, no matter how poor we are, my dad never short pay me on allowance.

And now, I am back from USA for almost 3 months and this is the 1st month I'm looking for a job. (at last!) For those who have concerns about me and my life, being really "nice" asking me why I am still jobless, thank you very much. but I am currently not rushing for a job. I don't want to settle for something that I won't like doing, a boss that doesn't appreciate my effort or a field that is stale and not growing.

Like my dad told me.

"There's a lifetime for you to work, settle for what makes you happy."

But also,

"Don't stay rely on others and counting on your husband, you'll soon lost track with society. And when you have nobody to rely on, you'll still have yourself, your career."

For the best dad from all the good dads in the world, I thank you.

For you may not be the best, but you are being the best of you.
I was being taught and raised in difficult times. I was really grateful for what and how I was raised.

Signing off,

Happy belated father's day.

"He helped clean up my spew. "

It was probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever did in our almost-4-years relationship. Last Saturday, I threw up from drinking too much in front of the door, and he helped clean up my spew, without even offering. No question asked. I've decided to wash the dishes when you're lazy, that's my lifetime promise to you.

What he did that day, just set the whole picture clearer. I wrote this story so I wouldn't forget about it, as long as internet exists.

It happened last year.

If you've read my experience on the Chateau, that was the time he first proposed.

While we are on our way heading to the Chateau, I accidentally discovered his search "proposing in a restaurant" on his phone. I was really nervous the whole trip because I did not expect it and I wondered what I should say if he really asked.

True enough, when someone kneels down in front of you even with you expecting it, your mind just goes all blank. He did not propose on the dinner, or in between any meals. It's hilarious he brought me to breakfast before we left the Chateau and just when I am so confident that it was a false alarm, he caught me off guard.

Just right after he asked if I wanted a picture next to a yellow wall, I turn around saw his knee on floor.
I never say no.

But I never say yes.

A week before I left to USA, I received a message from one of the advertising companies regarding a collaboration. (damn Donovan, you got me) He texted me regarding on a "long term project" (my god Don, should have said pun intended!) if I would be interested. Knowing I am the most famous and most responsible blogger in Malaysia HAHA, I had planned to turn it down due to the unknown future laid upon me. God knows if USA has internet for me to keep blogging. (HAHA)

And Leon deserves an Oscar for this. I asked him about what he thinks about meeting up with the client for this "long term project" that I might be unable to deliver. He say I should go give it a shot, casually. This time I am totally caught off guard. By this time, I thought he took the last proposal as a "silent yes" and the previous proposal has all but disappeared from my mind.

But he surprised me, this time.

The whole event made the little hairs on my skin stand as the meeting was set on a weekday night, and Donovan actually sent me a message reminding me to dress nicely and doll up.

I found it very very intriguing, but I really never thought that the "client" I am meeting is definitely signing this contract with me....

"Hi, Don. I am here at Signature by the hill but the waiter say there are no tables booked under your name and I don't see any sign of any other bloggers"

"Oh wait, I call them...."

I was placed on hold for a very long time.

"Okay, you can now go up. It's next to the cafe called "Stratosphere" and come up now. Just give them your name"

I am like, wait...

Is Donovan planning a kidnapping? I texted Leon to tell him what happened just to make sure if anything happens, somebody knows my story.

Two grey ticks. Message not read.

While I am walking up the STUPID STRATOSPHERE LONG ASS stairs, I was thinking how weird this whole event is and I don't see any familiar faces around.

"but I don't think Donovan interested in me or he is some kind of guy that will kidnap somebody (unattractive) like me...."

And still thinking about how bizarre is this, I also thinking how poor I am to risk myself for this. HAHAHAHA. Why I am willing to do this I don't even know. And guess my mind just cannot stop thinking about nonsense.

And when I reach the top...

Some photographer just flashes me with a camera, and I thought to myself, oh... I am safe, this is an event. While I am walking on the red carpet, it seems odd. The place is rather quiet. And I saw this secret client of mine. I can tell who he is at the back. He is at the end of the aisle of flowers. He is my Leon.

I walked towards this and he pitched a very fucking long speech.

Seriously I have no idea what he said. (Some I love you forever stuff) I am just overwhelmed. It's all in my head that how good this guy had TRICKED ME INTO THIS. I almost thought at last somebody gonna kidnapped me or something. And the very first time, I didn't have the slightest clue of his plan. And this Donovan! ARgh!

They just outgrown their acting skills!

Especially for a bad liar like Leon!

I am a full mind of "FUCK FUCK FUCK I LOST LIAOOOOO, I'm no longer the best liar nor actress here"

Looking at Leon when walking towards him.

And there he is, with my favorite love song Ellie Goulding's "How long would I love you" in the background, his very very long winded introduction of his proposal which I have zero interest, as I am impatient.

"I think you can skip this and can you put the ring on me already?"

He stoned for a while.

"Okay never mind you can finish whatever you want to say."

And he stuttered and forgot his last line.

I laughed.

This is all just like the first time we met... Like Dejavu.

He tell me about himself, with the longest introduction I've ever had while I'm rushing to leave.

"Do you still want my phone number or not?"

He again stoned for a while.

"Yes, I do." He handed over the phone.

"Yes, I do!" He put the ring on.

Signing off,

It's all so magical that night.

not so famous yet.

But I never say yes.

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